A basic meditation routine

1. Posture

• Sit on the first third of your chair.

• Straighten your back.

• Take some time to relax the rest of your body around the spine.

You can meditate in any posture—standing, lying down or sitting like a monk—but some postures seem to help during meditation. That's why most meditators prefer an alert but relaxed posture. When we're slumped over or lying down, we tend to get dull and sleepy, and when we're standing up, we tend to be restless. A sitting posture with a straight back and the rest of the body relaxed around the spine, seems to help the practice best.

2. Experiencing the meditation object

• Explore: Take a minute or two, to explore all the physical sensations that come with breathing.

• Pick a meditation object: Pick one point where you can feel the breath most clearly—this will be your meditation object during the session. Don't worry about it being perfect, just pick one. During the meditation, it will be very tempting to change your meditation object, don't do this, stick with your initial choice.

• Experience: Try to experience the physical sensations that come with the meditation object. This won't result in some magical experience, you are just feeling the breath.

• Stabilize: When you arrive at a single point of the breath, you can use labeling to stabilize your attention. Think “in” with the in-breath and “out” with the out-breath for a couple of breaths. See if you can cover the whole in-breath with the word "in" and the whole out-breath with the word "out", very quietly in your mind. You can come back to this technique whenever you’re having difficulty staying with the breath.

There will be this temptation to control the breath, but try to let the breath, breathe itself.

If you notice yourself using a lot of willpower to stay with the breath, then see if you can reduce the amount of effort you're using. We try to stay with the meditation based on curiosity and interest, not by using force, this will only backfire in the long run.

3. Returning with kindness

Meditation is not about suppressing or fighting thoughts, but about experiencing the meditation object. Keeping this in mind is important. Thoughts will come up, which is 100% okay, this is part of being human.

• Don't get frustrated: At some point you will start mind-wandering. This is a habit that we want to change with meditation, so there is this temptation to get frustrated when it happens. If you didn't mind-wander, then you didn't have to meditate. Getting frustrated about mind-wandering during meditation is like getting frustrated about having to lift weights when going to the gym—this is the exercise :)

• Don't analyze: There might be this tendency to analyze the distraction. Don't do this, thoughts can be really sticky, before you know it you're mind-wandering again.

• Be kind: When you notice mind-wandering, there is this "aha" moment where you wake up and remember you were meditating. You have become aware of, and this is great, we want this awareness—reward it accordingly.

  • If you can, try to really appreciate this moment of awareness. Don't rush back to the breath, but see if you can enjoy this moment of noticing, try to relax a little.

  • Give it a small smile. This might make it easier to appreciate your awareness.

  • Give yourself a short compliment like: "Well done."

• Return to the meditation object: After you have been kind to yourself, return your attention back to the meditation object. Repeat this until you hear the bell.