Giving and receiving feedback

Opportunities and obstacles

There is always an opportunity to learn and improve your guiding sessions. The best way to learn is through feedback from your backup—someone that would fill in when you can't make it. Especially when you're just beginning, make sure that you have a backup present.

The backup will notice things that you won't notice. Some of these things might be impossible for you to see yourself. We're all very good at self-deception, no matter how much you meditate, it is just a quality of the mind. For more on this:

Self-serving biasWikipedia

Overcoming the self-serving bias is difficult, basically impossible, but I think the following three things can help:

1. Always ask for feedback

Overcoming the self-serving bias is inherently uncomfortable, so when someone gives you feedback, you will be going on the defensive. And this works! People will stop giving you feedback, creating the illusion that you are doing pretty well—no more discomfort.

This defensive quality of humans doesn't make it attractive to give feedback, because of this some people will never do it.

The solution is simple: always ask for feedback. And if you have some headspace left, try to receive it with grace.

2. Observations not evaluations

I had planned to share a stripped down version of Nonviolent Communication—the standard version is a little bit clunky. But, I don't have the time (it doesn't have a high enough priority). If you're still curious, the video below taught me a lot!