Closing
Relaxing attention
We don’t want to stop the meditation acutely. There is a lot of focused concentration going on, that first needs to be widened a little. I recommend doing a reverse “four-step transition,” but without four steps, just take one or two of them.
Example(s):
“Before we finish our meditation session. Take a moment to relax our attention. Let is move around freely just like in the beginning. Does your attention move around differently? Just notice your quality of mind.”
“Now we let go of the breath and expand our attention to the whole body. How does the body feel right now? Can you look at it without judgment? Simply noticing what is there?”
Gratitude
We always end a meditation session with a moment of gratitude, because we have taken care of ourselves in a way that isn’t always easy. This moment will make it easier to start next time and can be especially important after a difficult meditation session.
Example(s):
"Just take a moment to remember your motivation from the beginning." [give them some time, remember your own motivation] "Now take some time to be grateful that you took the time to work with this motivation. Especially if the meditation was a difficult it is worth doing this."
“We finish this meditation session with a moment of Gratitude. Especially if the meditation session was difficult, it is important to use this moment. If you don’t know how to do this, simply think to yourself: “Thank you.”
“Before we end, we can think back to our motivation for meditating today and be thankful that we have taken the time to work on this.”
Ending a meditation session
People that meditate with you for the first time don’t know when the meditation has ended. If you stop talking, without signaling that it has ended, then they will keep on sitting there with their eyes closed until the end of time.
There are two ways of signaling that are both very calm and unobtrusive:
Rub your hands on the top of your legs. The sound of movement, even without saying anything, breaks the spell of the meditation. Eyes open up, curious about what is happening; “Ah, apparently it has ended.”
Say “thank you for meditating with me.” This also clearly signals that the meditation session has ended, but their remains a space of calm and peace.
After you have done the first, wait a couple of seconds before doing the second. You will see people slowly returning to the room. Stretching a little bit, looking around, and there is often something precious in the air. Quite often the whole group feels that it is okay to just sit there. Which is why it can be kind to give the group a minute of silence.
Meditation is all about being with the senses, being comfortable and aware of everything that is. Especially as a beginner, meditation often feels like a struggle, while only afterward they feel that they can relax. Now they finally can just be. This minute of silence is very precious.
You can break the silence by saying: “Does anyone want to share how their meditation session went?” Sometimes there is this need to share, but often there isn’t. Then simply announce that this was it, but that they are free to stay and have a cup of tea.
A round of gratitude
We recently (or depending on when you're reading this, not so recently) started a tradition at Student Meditation, which people seem to enjoy. After the meditation and after meditation experiences have been shared, we end with the session with a round of gratitude.
The idea is simple: everyone shares one thing they are grateful for today. The script is pretty simple:
"At Student Meditation, it is a tradition to end the meditation with a round of gratitude. We share something we're grateful for today. I will begin, so that everyone has a little bit of time to think about it. I'm grateful for ... "
Sometimes people say they have nothing. You can let them know it's okay; we will ask them again at the end.
There has been a lot of research into gratitude practices. It seems to be powerful stuff. Not only noticing the things you're grateful for, but also the act of sharing seems to help with connecting people.
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